I Used To Be Cool: A Personal Assessment

“I Used To Be Cool.”

 

The sticker was on the back window of a minivan, not very old, but the van had a dent in the rear bumper- driving with kids can be a distraction. The sticker was next to a KSHE-95 Real Rock radio sticker.

 

I laughed as I sat at the stoplight.

 

So I asked myself: was I ever cool? Here’s my personal assessment.

 

Seth Godin tells a story on this Tim Ferriss podcast about being popular in school and yo-yos. You know where this is headed: popular kid brings a yo-yo to school, and suddenly every kid is playing with yo-yos. To prevent anarchy, the principal outlaws yo-yos.

 

Then, a few years later, it happens all over again.

 

In the 70s, Duncan yo-yos starting showing up at my grade school. Two brothers- one in my class, one a year older- was pros at yo-yos. So, of course I got one, too.

 

Middle School Years

 

No person in history was cool in middle school- everyone (including me) is simply too awkward.

 

But some people got close. Middle school for me was the mid-70s, and a ton of music that I love came out during that era. The Eagle’s Hotel California came out in late ’76 (I was 14).

 

Album art (now a lost art) was one of the benefits of buying and listening to music, and some kids owned cool albums. If you had older siblings who went to concerts, you might have a great concert t-shirt. One friend had a shirt with the Average White Band logo, which I thought was cool.

 

I was not one of those semi-cool middle school kids, however. I had my hair parted in the middle and somewhat long. Throw in hormones and the picture isn’t pretty. One fond memory is mispronouncing the name of a female body part while reading aloud in 7th grade science class.

 

What about high school?

 

 

You can find humorous short stories here.

 

Considering High School

 

I started high school in the fall of ’77, and graduated in spring of ’81. I was a very average athlete on the football team, which added points to the cool factor (at least a few points). Those points were offset by taking advanced classes in some subjects, with advanced math never working out.

 

So, sort of even on cool points.

 

One classmate who I thought was particularly cool: punk rock peaked during the late 70s, and he had every great album. I didn’t know him well, but I remember listening to some great music for the first time at his house.

 

Some people think rebels are cool, but I couldn’t pull that off. My mother had taught in the school district, and all of the teachers knew my Mom. As a result, I felt an obligation to stay out of trouble- which is not cool.

 

There were frequent scams to buy liquor, including drives from St. Louis over to Illinois to a drive-thru liquor store. I had access to a car, which helped, and did have girlfriends in high school.

 

The coolness was offset by embarrassing events. We had a football game around Halloween senior year, and my girlfriend at the time asked the coaches to get me out of the locker room, so she could give me a gift. While she looked great, the coaches gave me trouble for weeks.

 

I think I ended high school with a few cool points- at least in positive territory.

 

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The Anti-Cool Years

 

I pledged a college fraternity that was proudly anti-cool. Not quite Delta Tau Chi from Animal House, but definitely not the pretty boys in Beta or Sigma Chi. Not a surprise that we attracted people (male and female) who liked the rebel image.

 

We were frankly more fun and less hung up on status than other houses, and that was attractive to some. At the same time, the cool fraternities and sororities shunned us, which was funny to all of us.

 

One great memory was a friend who figured out how to break into the kitchen of a neighboring fraternity and steal food on the way home from the bars. They never caught on…

 

Avoiding the Social Climb

 

I got one of those anti-cool girls to marry me, and the two of us avoided social climbing in the decades after college. It feels unrewarding, and hanging on to the top of the ladder may not last forever.

 

So, I never was cool- at least not for very long. I’m comfortable wearing socks and sandals in public, getting my haircut at Great Clips, and limiting my wardrobe to hiking pants and jeans.

 

I got the cute girl- so I have that going for me.

 

 

Ken

 

Image: Sunglasses, George Kelly, (CC By ND 2.0)